This is for all of the millennials like myself who have found themselves wandering in search of a purpose and meaningful direction.
About five years ago, while going through the darkest and most difficult time of my life, I awoke to an unpleasant truth. I had no idea who I really was. I was unable to articulate my values, my boundaries, or my dreams, completely disconnected and directionless. It was some deep sh*t.
During those years, I exhausted many of the people and things around me. With nowhere else to hide and no one else to tell my woes to, I reluctantly turned inward. Funny enough, I learned that this is exactly where I was supposed to be because no one else could give me the answers or do the work for me.
For me, “doing the work” involved any activity that allowed my mind to be still and my heart to open. I would fill my days with yoga, meditation, running, cooking, watching documentaries etc. I started to write in my journal. I also leaned into the world of Personal Development, Nutrition, Psychology, Sociology, and Spirituality, by consuming a variety of content from the top thought leaders in each field. Together these activities worked out to be pretty inexpensive yet, effective therapy.
After a few years of practicing self-care and intentional living, I began to see the fruits of my labor. I started to love myself, accept myself and understand myself. And best of all, I have clarity about who I am and what my purpose is.
Based on my experiences thus far, I truly believe that we all must go to the darkest parts of ourselves in order to heal and uncover the truth. As you take this journey,I encourage you to be brave and know that you are not alone.
Here are 10 tips that I’ve uncovered from my own journey and study. I have no doubt that at least one of them will help!
TIP #1 – GET CLEAR ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT
This tip comes in two parts. Part one: get clear about what you want from life. If you could experience or become anything what would it be? Sometimes it helps if you dig deep into your childhood memories and think about the things you loved doing or dreams you used to have. Write it down. Part two: ask yourself empowering questions about your current reality. For example, “What thoughts hold me back from creating the life of my dreams?” or “What beliefs do I need to accept in order to create the best possible experiences in my life?” Contemplate these questions often and write down the answers when they come. Sometimes they will show themselves in ways you don’t expect but they will always be clear.
Check out this lesson on “Questions to Ask The Universe To Help Unfold Your Biggest Gifts”by Michael B. Beckwidth
TIP #2 – FEED YOUR SOUL ON THE REGULAR
Develop a spiritual practice aka ritual in order to connect to your innermost parts. Ps. this is where you set your intentions, replenish your energy, receive intuitive insights and build endurance for the journey. Unplug, Pray, ask for what you need, meditate, read, journal, express gratitude. A commitment to whichever one of those resonate with you will help you connect to yourself and feed ya soul. Consistency is key.
TIP #3 – SET INTENTIONAL GOALS
As you build your spiritual practice, the answers will start flowing in. Use the vision that is being revealed to you and set some goals in order to give it life. Break the big ones up into small bite size pieces of all the necessary steps you’d have to take in order to make the big one come true. Set realistic time frames for their achievement. Do you really need to give this dream 5 years, 3 years, 1 year, or 3-6 months to come together? Spread them out over a realistic period of time. Plan your weeks and your days with small tasks.
TIP #4 – KEEP INSPIRATION INSIGHT
Being able to see visual cues and details of the life we want to create helps us to expand our imagination by keeping positive stimulation around us for when we need a reminder. If your life vision entails you being in a loving, lasting, and healthy romantic partnership, maybe you want to create a vision board that has photos of lovers sharing a romantic moment. Look at it and imagine what your life will feel like when you have that.
TIP #5 – KNOW YOUR WEAK SPOTS AND GET HELP TO STRENGTHEN THEM
The ability to identify your weaknesses as opportunities to grow is an important part of the journey. Accept them for what they are and act to improve them by enlisting the help of people and resources around you. Study up on the area you want to improve in. You may not be able to master it all but at least gain enough understanding of it to recognize the triggers and learn a few tips for managing it.
TIP #6 – GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO BE CREATIVE
This is where you give life to the vision. You’re going to have to sit down and do the work, but trust me, it can be fun and feel good once you get in the groove of it. First, re-evaluate how you spend your time and energy because time is your most valuable asset. Be intentional when you are planning. Ask yourself how the things you do align with the bigger vision. Create boundaries and learn to say no so that you can say yes to Saturday morning work sessions for you and your craft. The more time and energy you can give to the creative process, the better chance you have of birthing your dream.
Check out my favorite read on how to unleash your creativity HERE.
TIP #7 – HAVE PATIENCE LOVE
It is said that good things take time. Every time that you find yourself discouraged by the process, remember that. And more importantly, remember the reason why you embarked on this journey in the first place. When I find myself discouraged and impatient with the results I tap into my gratitude practice. I write down all the things that I am grateful for and why. It’s really simple but powerful. This allows me to ground myself in the present moment and to cultivate an energy of appreciation for the opportunities and things that I do have. Patience is like a muscle and it can be strengthened.
Book Recommendation: The Magic by Rhonda Byrne
TIP #8 – STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE
You know how you can sometimes get caught in the black hole of endless IG and Facebook scrollings? Well, it’s the consumption of everyone else’s highlights and glamour that can add to the funk about where we are and what we are doing. Especially if we’re experiencing a creative block in our work or are having difficulty getting started. Be mindful of the messages and media you consume. Learn about what triggers you. Respond to yourself with compassionate and empowering dialogue. “It’s great that she just published her first book! I am happy for her and I know that I will have my time too.” Know that everyone has their own unique path to follow, so don’t get caught up comparing yourself to others.
TIP #9 – MIND YOUR THOUGHTS, THEY BECOME THINGS
Many thought leaders believe that our inner conversation contributes to the way we experience and perceive the world around us. Start paying attention to the conversation in your head. Without passing judgment, look at how the voice in your head responds to the world around you. Is it speaking from a place of possibility or one of lack and limitation? If it’s of the latter, ask yourself some empowering questions (see tip 1). Figure out what underlying beliefs and emotions are connected to the negative thoughts every time they come up, and challenge them with the truth. Focus on creating positive thoughts and be sure to uproot the negative ones. You’ll have to be more mindful of your thoughts and the way you speak to yourself when you get discouraged. Work on motivating and keeping yourself in check in a loving and compassionate way.
TIP #10 – TRUST AND LET GO
Trust the process, trust the vision, trust that when you do all that you can from where you are and with what you have, shi*t will just line up! Trust requires belief in the possibility of something existing in reality. I hope you can see that although this might seem like the hardest part, if you keep inspiration in sight and practice mindful thinking, you are already aiding the manifestation your vision. Trust that you will be supported, especially if you’re coming from a deep place of clarity about your dream.
The path to living the life of your dreams and becoming the person you want to be is not linear, it’s not perfect and it’s not a do it once kinda thing. Becoming is a continual process. It’s messy, it’s fun, it brings you closer to the sweet moments of life. Give birth to the sh*t that terrifies you; the pain will be worth it and the creations will be beautiful.