Turning Pain into Purpose

Turning Pain into Purpose

Growing up, I wasn’t sure of much, but one thing I was certain of was that I was going to grow up to tell stories that touched people. I spent a lot of my childhood reading, writing poems and short stories, and watching movies, thinking that one day I’d be an author, maybe a screenwriter or songwriter.

In high school I was encouraged to apply to Journalism and Communications programs and ended up completing my undergrad in Communications Studies at Carleton University. I struggled interning for a bit after I graduated, took on dead-end jobs after that and eventually went back to school for Marketing. Ironically, after going back to school I landed a Communications internship with a major Canadian telecommunications company which led to my promotion as a Senior Communications Specialist on the team. To me, I had made it! I’d achieved the one thing I wanted so badly – to get a full-time, salaried job that paid well and allowed me to tell stories.

Now don’t get me wrong – I love my job, but after years in the role, I started to question my purpose. What am I doing here? I’m writing every day, and I love it, but how much impact is this making? Am I touching lives like I always dreamt I would? I had stopped dreaming and felt disconnected from anything really meaningful. I was telling stories but not really helping people like I wanted to.

Naturally, I love helping people. I’m very giving, almost to a fault. This has caused me to be selfless in my relationships not just with friends and family, but with boyfriends too. Around the same time that I was questioning my purpose, I was months into dating this guy that was a long time friend of mine. But I never in a million years could have predicted what was to come and the events following that set in motion.

One night on my way home from work, I received a phone call from him. This was after I had already found out he was seeing other women, contrary to our previously agreed upon rules and boundaries. I was not excited to hear from him. He informed me on that call that he was expecting a baby with his ex-girlfriend in a couple of months – that I should know this since I had found out about everything else. This crushed me. I never saw any of it coming. I resolved to cut all ties but I was still down and out for weeks. Then as I was sleeping one night God spoke to me in my dreams. I dreamt that I was using my relationship experiences and self love journey to inspire a crowd of women and girls. It was in my dream that night that I began to manifest my purpose. I woke up with tears streaming down my face because I couldn’t believe what I had just experienced – it felt so real and I was invigorated. I immediately wrote it down and started asking myself, “well, what does this mean?”

That dream and subsequent brainstorming led to me picking myself up, refocusing my energy, enrolling in the New Girl On The Block mentorship program, and coming up with the idea to start a YouTube channel centered on self love and relationships. I am now working on launching the channel and website, and exploring the possibility of becoming an inspirational speaker. I stopped limiting myself and started thinking big. I used my passion for helping people and telling stories to guide me and I took one of the most painful experiences in my life and turned it into purpose. Sometimes it takes going through some major downfalls to get you to the place that you need to be.

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