MEET: Travisha Rudder
As a Capricorn at heart, crying is naturally not easy for me to do. This year I joined New Girl on The Block to help me focus on what is most important to me. But like anyone else in the world, problems and conflicts always arise. The NGOTB mentor program has helped me overcome my personal issues and focus on myself and my business. But I also struggle with depression and sometimes issues can seem to be above what is really most important to you.
The past two weeks, feelings of depression have been overwhelming me, and naturally I fell back into old habits and did nothing about it. I forgot all about my journal, and all the self-love practices NGOTB has taught me. I then started stressing about things that are out of my control like money, and the fact that I hate my living situation right now. I also sat on my ass during all of my free-time moping about what should be, instead of doing all that I can in that very moment.
As the week carried on, I did begin to uplift myself again, but talking to Pauleanna was really all I needed. She said something to me that I feel will stick with me forever. “Sometimes, all I need is a good cry, a bath, and a nap.” My whole life I have felt like it’s not okay to cry. Even though crying has many benefits like, relieving stress or simply improving your mood. Even while I was talking to Pauleanna my eyes started to water and I was telling myself, “Travisha do not cry right now!” One, because naturally I feel it’s weird to cry in front of people, and two because I wanted to listen to what she was saying because we only had 30 minutes together. But when our conversation ended, I was like why did I feel it wasn’t okay to cry? And I remembered all the times in my child hood when I would repress my feelings. I then felt a rush of sadness and I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t! I realized what I need to do is cry a little bit more often, not for sympathy but just to let out all the emotions that we tend to hold onto, that prevent the hustle of our success.
I came across a wikihow called: How to Cry and Let It All Out. I know Wikipedia is not the most reliable source for information and it does state some pretty “common sense” tips. But sometimes all you really need is for some else to reassure those common sense ideas.
I hope that this blog helps anyone who is dealing with depression, or anyone who is having a hard time dealing with all the shit we got going on in our lives. I know when I go home later tonight, I tend to have myself a good bawl.
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